Today, we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense.
No one really knows how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools; hospitals, homes, factories and offices, helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.
For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in from rain, the early bird gets the worm and life isn’t always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids).
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including feminism, body piercing, whole language, phonics and new math.
But his health began to rapidly deteriorate when he became infected with the “if-it-only-helps-one-person-it’s-worth-it” virus. In recent decades, his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing federal legislation and regulations.
He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors. His health deteriorated even further when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies; when reports were heard of six year old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; when a teen was suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch; when a teacher was fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but couldn’t inform the parent when a female student is pregnant or wants an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to professional sports.
Common sense could only shake his head when a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a bit in her lap and was awarded a huge settlement.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments, regarding questionable regulations for asbestos, low-flow toilets, smart guns, global warming/climate change, the nurturing of Prohibition Laws and mandatory air bags.
Finally, when told that the homeowners association restricted exterior furniture only to that which enhanced property values, you couldn’t paint your house without approval and your mailboxes all had to be the same he breathed his last.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son Reason.
He is survived by three stepbrothers survive him: My Rights, In Tolerance and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
This couldn’t be anymore true thanks to our liberal Democratic party. They spend too much time catering to the minority, the small loud obnoxious groups that are offended by EVERYTHING. They get up in the morning and look for something to be offended about. We must stop “whatever” if it offends even one person. We wouldn’t want them scarred for life. Yeah right!!!
Comes to you from ihatebullshit.com.